dont have a title

Hmmmm....im sitting at my desk at work... my mind wandering.. and im pondering on the things that i have to do today, tomorrow.. this weekend... and my mind travels to the book that I happen to be reading right now.. 'confessions of a video vixen' .... to say the least it is a very interesting book.. the things i had heard about the book were quite negative and cast a bad light on the authoress.. lol.. (i like dat word) lol.. well, i casually picked it up a couple of days ago and i havent put it down since then... I mean, i thot i had had it rough and tough but this chick had been to hell and back and im only in the second chapter of the book.. and im thinking to myself.. OMG!!!!! how does one human being endure all of these things from such a tender age and still be alive... and then im reminded of the grace of God.. I mean i look back at my life and where i am coming from and everyday I know that all of the props goes to God.. cos if He hadnt been watching my back (even wen i paid Him no mind) I dont think I would be who/where i am today.. wont even be close....
You know.. im thinking about it.. and its like so easy for us to go through each day without realising that we move, breathe, walk, talk, EVERYTHING simply by the Grace of God not because we've earned it.. Hell No! but because He loves us UNCONDITIONALLY... and dat fact is easily forgotten each day as we go through the motions of life and try to get thru the day, week, month, year ... a continuous vicious cycle called life... i dunno why im in this mood today.. maybe that book sobered me up.. made me appreciate my life's experiences and helped me thank God some more for delivering me from the bondage of those experiences.. becos a lot of ppl believe that our lives are shaped by the events that take place in our lives... but i realise that i have refuse to let those events limit me or hinder me from doing all that i want to do or exploring my greatest potentials as an individual.. or having fulfilling relationships, or sleeping with the light off (because i am afraid of the dark for one reason or the other), or driving on the highway, or being in a committed relationship, or speaking in public, packing up and moving to a new state/country (im terrified of change but im willing to try.. MD here i come by God's grace!!) Afraid to look into the eyes of the man who molested you, to stay within proximity of him, afraid to love yourself or your body... the list is endless.. these are as a result of being held captive by events that took place in our lives.. BUT I refuse to fall victim to it any longer.. I have come to terms with the fact that I am human and I am not perfect.. i totally embrace this kowledge and i am not afraid of it, I know that I will make mistakes.. even the stupidest and most obvious ones.. like d'uh.. lol.. But i also vow to pick myself up after each mistake/bad experience, dust myself off and pick up where i left off... i refuse to be deterred by the things that happened/happen to me... i vow to learn from every experience both old and new... take one good thing out of each one.... and apply it to my life now.. to make me a better christian, daughter, sister, life partner, friend, colleague, student, and most importantly a better person... So I challenge you all... to do same... accept ur mistakes, ur weaknesses and ur faults, learn from them and move on to greater things in your life... God help us all...